Tender Love Page 14

  “I’m not exactly blind, you know. Besides, your mother filled me in on the situation last week, so I was speculating before you came.”

  “I should have known Mom would pressure you to advise me. She doesn’t approve of my present position.”

  “Oh, I’m on your side, no matter what you do. You and John have been mighty good to me.”

  Alice reached over and squeezed Mrs. Guthrie’s hand. “Thanks.”

  “But I repeat—I don’t see why you ever need to leave. From what Gran tells me, you’re the homemaker and mother those kids have never had. She’s hinted that her granddaughter wasn’t too effective as a homemaker even before her illness.”

  “I don’t know—I’ve heard that, but I’ve never discussed Mark’s marriage with him. I don’t know what the future will bring, but right now, I’m the nanny.”

  “If you say so.”

  “I’m happy that you’re visiting with Gran. She’s quite alone in the world, and Mark should be commended for taking care of her.”

  “I suggested that to her, but do you know, I’ve gotten the idea that she believes it’s his obligation.”

  When Mrs. Guthrie assured Alice that she could look after Gran and Buffy, Alice took the children to Virginia Beach on Tuesday. Mark had given Kristin and Eddie some spending money, but she added a twenty-dollar bill each so they could buy souvenirs that took their fancy. They spent a full day going in and out of shops, eating ice-cream bars and hot dogs, and enjoying all of the attractions. To the children’s credit, they didn’t spend all of the money on themselves—they bought gifts for Mark and Gran, and Kristin bought a gift for Susie, but when Alice asked Eddie if he’d like to buy a gift for Troy, he said, “No, I haven’t forgotten the time he hit my belly with that ball.”

  His comment amused Alice, and she didn’t remonstrate with Eddie then, but she decided that she would soon have to talk to him on the subject of forgiveness.

  Mark telephoned that night, and Kristin took the upstairs extension while Eddie talked downstairs. They chattered to their father at least a half hour about their day’s activities. Eddie finally handed Alice the phone. “Daddy wants to talk to you, too.”

  Alice’s heart pounded when she answered. Just two days of not seeing Mark had been overlong.

  “Hi, Mark,” she said lightly. “I’m speaking on the downstairs phone. Kristin is still on the extension upstairs.” She thought he should know that.

  “Good night, Kristin—I’ll see you Thursday afternoon.”

  “Good night, Daddy.” Alice heard the upstairs phone replaced, and the extension light faded.

  “Everything must be going well,” Mark said. “The kids sound excited. But when are you going to have a vacation? You can’t be a nanny all the time.”

  “We’re having fun, and I am having a vacation. I haven’t washed a dish, cooked a meal, or done any laundry since we arrived. We’ve been running around eating the wrong kinds of foods and wasting our money.”

  “Must be nice,” he said, “while I’ve been working hard.”

  “In air-conditioned comfort?”

  “Fortunately. It’s hot here, and I’m looking forward to the weekend. I’m going to leave about noon on Thursday.”

  “There are several wildlife refuges in the area— I’d thought of taking Kristin and Eddie, but perhaps you’d like for us to wait until Friday, so you can go, too.”

  “I’d love that, but I do need some time by myself. I’ve been doing a lot of serious thinking about the future, and I feel that I can make some resolutions this weekend. I won’t neglect the children, but I will try to get away for a while.”

  “They’re sleeping late, and early morning is a good time to stroll along the beach and meditate. I get up early to sit on the deck and watch the sunrise. You can make a time for thinking.”

  “Please be praying about it, Alice—any decisions I make will involve all of us.”

  “I understand, Mark, and I’ve been praying for you, but it’s hard to be specific in my petitions when I don’t know what’s best.”

  When Mark arrived on Thursday, he seemed at peace with himself, for his eyes were quiet and serene, and he was more relaxed than Alice had ever seen him. He’d gained several pounds during the summer, and he wore a pair of white shorts and a striped blue-and-white shirt. His outgoing personality and his good looks captivated Alice’s heart all over again.

  “You’ve got on a new shirt, Daddy,” Kristin said.

  “And new shorts, too. When I looked in my closet, I found I didn’t have many sport clothes.”

  “We’ve been shopping, too,” Kristin said. “Alice took us to a big store, and we bought some school clothes.”

  “She said you could pay her back later,” Eddie added. “Come on upstairs and see our new things.”

  As Mark was ushered upstairs by his two children, he looked over his shoulder at Alice. “Let me know how much you spent,” he said.

  “I kept all of the bills.”

  The next morning, Alice heard Mark leave the house early, and he wasn’t back by the time Mrs. Guthrie had breakfast ready.

  “Where’s Daddy?” Kristin demanded.

  “Taking a walk along the beach.”

  Kristin jumped down from her chair. “I’m going to find him.”

  “Not until you’ve eaten breakfast. I think he’ll be back by then.”

  Kristin pouted, but she did as Alice said, and Mark came into the kitchen before they’d finished eating.

  “Am I too late for breakfast?”

  Alice’s eyes twinkled at him. “We do have rules about being on time for meals, but we’ll excuse you this time.”

  They spent the morning at the wildlife refuge, enjoying the varied birds and animals in their natural habitats. During the afternoon while Mark and the kids played in the ocean, Alice visited with Mrs. Guthrie and Gran to give Mark some quality time alone with his children.

  Saturday afternoon, when Kristin would have accompanied Mark on his walk, he said, “No, Kristin, I’d like to be alone for a few hours.”

  Kristin drooped in a chair on the deck.

  “I could use some help getting ready for our picnic on the beach tonight,” Alice said.

  “I’ll help,” Eddie said. Kristin reluctantly agreed and she was soon over her disappointment, although Alice noticed that she frequently looked up and down the beach to see where her father was. He wasn’t in sight, and Alice suspected that he’d stopped on the deck that the Hazards had built over the beach. She’d told him that the family was gone, and that he could have privacy there.

  The three of them gathered driftwood and piled it together for a bonfire. They carried chairs and a folding table down to the beachfront, and Alice taught them how to cut forked sticks to use for roasting hot dogs.

  “We’re going to make a freezer of homemade ice cream, too.”

  “I’m glad you’re not making us eat all health foods this week, Alice,” Kristin said.

  “The value of any diet is moderation. Hot dogs aren’t bad for you unless you have them every meal. I was rather strict with you at first because most of your food was fat, starchy and sweet. As long as we eat plenty of fruits and vegetables, we can add in our favorite foods, too.”

  “It’s been fun here at the beach,” Kristin said. “I sorta hate to leave.”

  Alice felt the same way. Whatever Mark was deciding now was going to make a big difference in all their lives, and it was cowardly to want to remain separated from the rest of the world—a world, where there were no Ethel Penningtons, or others who took the wrong attitude about her nanny position.

  “School will be fun, too,” Alice tried to reassure them. “But it’s going to be very quiet in the house with the two of you gone all day. I’ll miss you.”

  Eddie threw his arms around Alice’s legs—now that he was stronger, she had to brace herself for his gesture, so she wouldn’t be thrown off her feet. “I’ll miss you, too, Alice—maybe you can go to kindergarten
with me.”

  “I doubt that—someone has to stay home to look after Gran and have a snack ready when you get back at the end of the day!”

  Mark returned when they were almost ready for the picnic. He was relaxed, but Alice couldn’t tell what he’d decided by his expression. His thick hair had been ruffled by the breeze, and several locks dangled over his forehead.

  “Sorry I’m so late—I intended to help, but I went to sleep.”

  “We have everything ready, but you might want to push Gran’s chair down here. She insisted that it was too much of a trek for her, but we convinced her otherwise. It’s a beautiful, warm night, and she’ll enjoy it.”

  “I’ll bring her.” He sniffed appreciatively at the pan of corn Mrs. Guthrie carried past him. “This sea air must whet my appetite. I’m hungry all the time.”

  After they’d eaten the hot dogs, roasted corn, fresh veggies and fruit, Mark hand-turned the ice-cream freezer, assisted by Alice and the two children. Mrs. Guthrie brought a bowl of fresh strawberries for topping.

  It was growing dark by the time they finished eating, and Mark wheeled Gran back to the house. Mrs. Guthrie stayed with them while they sang campfire songs, and waited for the moon to rise over the ocean.

  When Mrs. Guthrie announced it was her bedtime, Mark said, “You kids need to go to bed, too. I’ll take you to the house and get you settled in, and then I’ll come back and help store the chairs and table.”

  Mrs. Guthrie said, “We can each take a load of things as we go, and there won’t be much left to do.”

  Mark stepped close to Alice. “Wait here for me—we have to talk,” he said quietly.

  Alice had doused the fire and carried the rest of the chairs to the house when Mark returned. She saw the lights go out in the upstairs bedrooms, and she waited by the seawall until Mark came down the walk.

  “Let’s sit on this bench,” she said. “The wind has picked up now, and we’ll be more comfortable here.”

  “This is fine,” he agreed, and sat down beside her. Mark took Alice’s hand and caressed it gently. “I’ve decided to go back into the ministry, Alice.”

  Even though she’d expected the news, his words excited Alice, and she lifted her arms to embrace him, but she stopped abruptly and moved farther from him.

  “That’s wonderful. It’s such a waste for a man like you to be away from the position God called him to fill. Are you at peace about it?”

  “I’ve been fighting this decision for a year, although the struggle hasn’t been as difficult in the past few weeks. This afternoon when I walked along the beach, I took a small book of poems by Francis Thompson. One of the poems, ‘Hound of Heaven,’ is Thompson’s experience when he was out of the will of God. He, too, ran away from the life God wanted him to live. For years he tried to escape God, but like a hound pursuing his quarry, God stayed on his trail until the man finally submitted to the divine will for his life.”

  “Yes, I’ve read the story,” Alice said. “It’s a beautiful illustration of how God intervenes in an individual’s life.”

  “I’ve finally realized that God isn’t going to release me from the vow I took, and I don’t want Him to. I’ll never be content—be fulfilled—unless I’m in a ministry of some kind.”

  “What is your next step?”

  “I’ve started some projects at the bank that will take a few months to complete, and it wouldn’t be ethical for me to resign right away. But I will contact the leaders in our state organization for advice and counseling. I may be called to the pastorate again, or perhaps I might be more effective as a counselor or chaplain. It doesn’t really matter where I work. Now that I’ve turned my life over to God’s leading, I’ll follow Him wherever He leads.”

  “You’re going to make many, many people happy, including me.”

  “I know,” he said ruefully. “I’ve disappointed all my friends.” He moved closer to her. “Now, I want you to do what you started to do when I told you my news.”

  “Oh, Mark,” she whispered, as she snuggled into his arms and clasped her hands around his neck. “I’ve missed you so much this week.”

  “I can understand that. I could hardly bring myself to go home in the evening when I knew you weren’t going to be there. I ate most of my dinners in a restaurant.”

  For a few minutes, she rested content in Mark’s embrace. The wind died down, and the waves gently lapping on the sand complemented the rhythmic thumping of their hearts. As close as they were, Alice could feel Mark’s steady heartbeat through the soft fabric of her shirt.

  “Now it’s time to think about us.” She stiffened slightly in his arms, and he sensed it. “We have to face it, Alice, so relax.”

  Alice knew he was right, but she wished they could stay this way and avoid making further decisions, at least tonight.

  “I love you, Alice, and it’s been almost more than I can bear to have you in my home as an employee rather than my wife. I want to change that. If you bring such contentment in our home when you’re a nanny, I can’t imagine what it will be like when you’re the wife and mother. Will you marry me?”

  “Of course, I’ll marry you, but when?”

  “The sooner the better, although we will have to consider Kristin and Eddie. They both love you now— I don’t think they’ll object.”

  “I’m not sure about Kristin—she’s rather possessive toward you. For the kids’ sake, we should wait a few more months, although I want to marry you now.”

  “You may be right, but if we marry right away, that would settle any gossip about our relationship. I thought with Gran and the children in the house, no one would question your position, but apparently Ethel suspects our mutual feelings, because she’s hinted as much to me.”

  “Try as I might, I can’t hide how much I love you. Betty knew right away, and my mother and Mrs. Guthrie have made comments. I’m surprised that Gran hasn’t known it.”

  “I’ve never discussed my first marriage with you, and the least said the better, but both of us have had former mates, and we can’t change that. I don’t mean to be disloyal, but you mustn’t think you’re competing with a first love that I can’t get over. I never felt for Clarice what I do for you. Never before have I experienced the excitement, satisfaction, and emotion that you’ve brought into my life. You won’t be taking second place—you’ll have the best that’s in me to give.”

  Alice sniffled. “Mark, thanks for saying that. I’ll never expect you to mention it again, but I’ve been feeling a little slighted—seems like you always choose your children before me. I know it has to be that way, but I’m glad you told me that I’m first with you in many ways. You know I didn’t love John, so God has been good to us. Both of us know now what we missed in our first marriages—God must have intended for us to be together.”

  For a long time they sat in close embrace without speaking, until Mark finally said, “Are you asleep?”

  “No, just content. I feel as if I could stay this way forever.” She stirred in his arms and shivered a little. “We’d better go in. I doubt I’ll sleep, but the children might awaken and want something.”

  She lifted her lips to be kissed, and Mark didn’t disappoint her. “I love you, Alice,” he whispered as his lips hovered over hers.

  Holding hands, they turned toward the house. “That’s strange,” Alice said. The living room was fully lighted. “I thought everyone was in bed.” She quickened her steps. “Can anything be wrong?”

  Chapter Nine

  Alice stepped into the house ahead of Mark to be confronted by Kristin and Gran, both staring belligerently at them.

  “Kristin, I thought you were in bed asleep,” Mark said. “It’s too late for you to be up.”

  Kristin jumped out of her chair and came forward. “We saw you,” she said, tears sparkling in her eyes. “You were kissing.”

  Mark squatted beside Kristin and tried to take her in his arms, but she jerked away from him.

  “If we were ashamed of wh
at we were doing, we wouldn’t have been in full view of the house. You’ll probably see us kissing quite often—we’re going to be married.”

  “No,” Kristin shouted. “You’re already married—to my mother.” She turned on Alice. “You’re trying to steal our daddy away from us.”

  Had she heard this from Ethel? Alice wondered.

  “At least you could have had the decency to wait a year or so,” Gran said angrily. “You should honor the memory of my granddaughter, rather than take up with a servant in your house.”

  Alice couldn’t believe this scene was real. She would awaken soon and find it was all a dream. She sank into a chair, feeling like a traitor to leave Mark to deal with them alone, but she couldn’t speak in her own defense.

  Wearily, Mark said, “I don’t have to justify my actions to either of you, and I’ve said all I’m going to right now. Kristin, go to bed.”

  Kristin sulkily turned toward the stairs, while Gran in her slow way guided the walker to her room. Mark turned off the overhead light, and plunged the room into semidarkness. From the light at the head of the stairs, Alice watched him as he stood in front of the window, looking out toward the ocean, with knotted hands jammed in his pockets. His body trembled violently, and Alice knew he struggled to control his anger.

  At last, with an audible sigh, he sat on the floor beside her. She threaded her fingers through his wavy hair.

  “I wish I could have spared you that tirade. When I think of the way you’ve sacrificed for all of us this summer, I can’t believe they would actually say the things they did. You have absolutely no obligation to Gran, and you’ve included her in everything, took her to church, watched out for her health. And she called you a servant!”

  “Forget it, Mark.”

  “I’ll never forget it. And Kristin—to think that a child of mine could be so disrespectful.”

  “Both of them are insecure. Gran knows that you aren’t obligated to give her a home, and if we marry, she probably thinks I’d expect her to leave, although I’ve never given her any reason to believe that. As for Kristin, I told you she’s possessive with you—she doesn’t want to share you with anyone.”